New Documentary: Hitler Was Not Nice

Do you ever sit around and try to think of all the little things that Hitler did that were probably awful? Obviously, there’s a lot of big terrible things the guy did, but we bet in his day-to-day life, Hitler was probably an asshole then too.

Hitler probably underlined things in books he borrowed from the library. He probably got into the ’10 Items or Less’ lane at the grocery store with 15 items. He probably never yielded. Those sorts of things. And if all of that wasn’t bad enough, a new documentary shows that even in his sex life, Hitler was a bit of a prick.

While Hitler is well-known for abstaining from sex to remain ‘healthy,’ (whatever that means in this context, we have no idea,) the documentary, “Hitler’s Secret Sex Life,” claims that he was constantly being injected with amphetamines and bull semen to help increase his urge to merge. ‘Fine, whatever,’ you think, ‘let Hitler do Hitler and let me never think about him again.’

Well, here’s the part that makes him awful. The film says that he had an incestuous relationship with his niece. Not cool, Hitler. He apparently made her kick and beat him and, as the UK paper The Sun put it, indulge in his “wee fetish.” Look, you do whatever you want to do in the bedroom, but, come on, Hitler. Knock it off.

And, if you were fine with Hitler being into water sports, let us throw in the fact that he had his niece killed after she told some folks about his fetishes. Yup, even in sex, Hitler was not fun.

We’re not even going to post a picture with this story, it’s awful enough.