Massive Dildo Stolen From Vegas Sex Shop
In yet more proof as to why we can’t have nice things, a 3 foot tall dildo has been stolen from a Las Vegas sex shop. A man just walked in, picked up Moby, (the dildo’s nickname) and walked out before store employees could stop him. Moby weighs around 40 pounds and was selling for around $1,200.
Thankfully, there is security camera footage.
There has been no word of Moby’s current whereabouts or even if he is still alive. Police have been waiting for some sort of communication from the thief, most likely involving letter cut out of the newspaper. Officials fear they will never hear from Moby again.