Walmart Implies Santa’s Christmas Flight is Fueled by Cocaine

In what has to be a theory that hasn’t been floated since sometime during the 80s, Walmart think Santa Claus is a cokehead. Or maybe they don’t. Maybe they just think he uses it one night a year to fly around the world delivering presents to good boys and girls and people who are trying hard to be good and aren’t we all, like, really, trying to be good, like really good and maybe it’s like a one-night-a-year kind of thing and he can stop whenever he wants, but IT HELPS, you know, it just does and that’s a fact and Santa really loves you and Santa needs a little bit more of his magical snow to help him fly…

Walmart has pulled a Christmas sweater that some people say implies that Santa does cocaine. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t, who is to say? Either way, you have to admit it’s a pretty poor likeness of the fella. And if Walmart wants to apologize for anything, maybe it’s the crazy eyes. Either way, you can no longer buy this sweater. Except on Ebay, where it is likely fetching a pretty penny and will definitely make you more popular at your ugly sweater Christmas party, if people are still doing that.

RSS Listen Now

  • Why? Episode 305- Marqueetown
  • Why? Epsiode 304- Corn Hole Champion Rosie Streker
  • Why? Episode 303- Andrew Shaffer
  • Why? Episode 302- The Forest County Bigfoot Festival
  • Why? Episode 301- Jewelry Maker Kimberly Charron
  • Why? Episode 300- Cellos & Metallica
  • Why? Epsiode 299- Famous Last Words season two is coming!
  • Why? Episode 298- Celebrating Earth Day and "Think!" with Sheri Miller
  • Why? Episode 297- The Gathering of the Kyles
  • Why? Episode 296- Tornado Tours
  • Why? Episode 295- The World Naked Bike Ride in Milwaukee
  • Why? Episode 294- Twister City Roller Derby
  • Why? Epsiode 293- The Ramoms
  • Why? Episode 292- Escape Rooms
  • Why? Episode 291- The Naturist Research Library
  • Why? Episode 290- Surf Rock with The Surfrajettes
  • Why? Episode 289- The Boot Tan Festival
  • Why? Episode 288- Corgi Racing
  • Why? Episode 287- Even more time with the Accidental Swingers
  • Why? Episode 286- The American Museum of the House Cat