Episode 195 Make Love Not Porn

Bob Seger provides most of our words to live by. Whether you’re looking to feel nostalgic, completely rock out, or make a commercial for Chevy trucks, he’s got the lyrics you’re looking for. Would “Beverly Hills Cop II” have been as good without “Shakedown?” We doubt it. Is the story from “Hollywood Nights” primed to be a limited series on Starz? Absolutely. In fact, I’m evoking Bob Seger’s lyrics to “Against the Wind” right now as I write this blog: “Deadlines and commitments / What to leave in, what to leave out.” He’d be one of our favorites, even if a certain host and willing producer didn’t occasionally see him walking his dog in the park. But we do, and we leave him alone — aside from a friendly nod and a “Beautiful day, isn’t it?” — because classic rock icons deserve some down time.

But there’s one Seger song that especially comes to mind after talking with this week’s guest — “Night Moves.” Particularly at the end of the song, the lyrics promote “workin’ and practicin’” your night moves. And there’s no shame it that. While the song only focuses on one summer, working on your night moves is an ever-evolving process. A life-long endeavor. In case you’re not into thinly veiled language, he’s talking about having sex. But if he just titled the song “Sex,” there wouldn’t be a strip club called Night Moves in Bloomington, Indiana. That would be a shame.

We spoke with Ariel from the website Make Love Not Porn, and if you find the first half of this sentence intriguing, you’re going to love this interview. Fed up with unrealistic porn and the expectations it’s putting on people, Make Love Not Porn is dedicated to showing sex in all its funny, messy, awkward glory. In other words, if someone falls off the bed transitioning from one position to the other, it’s in the video. Don’t worry about zooming in, out, and artfully editing. As Ariel explains, it’s about real people uploading their own videos showing them having real sex — whatever their definition of that may be.

Ariel is a curator for Make Love Not Porn, so she’s seen it all. We talked with her about whether she’s witnessed any changing trends when it comes to sex through the years, whether the videos are more professional or amateur in nature, and how the idea for the site came about in the first place. Ariel is also in the position of letting people know whether their video can be posted on the site or not, so she filled us in on why sex videos are turned down. It almost never has to do with content, but with technicalities. Remember, if you’re filming yourself having sex (or you and your partner, you and your group, etc.), don’t use your sexy-time music playlist. It’s too expensive to get the music rights to “We’ve Got Tonight.”

Tune in to this week’s episode to hear even more about what Make Love Not Porn is all about, including why the people in the videos aren’t called “performers,” how making videos helped people out during the pandemic, and how the site is monetized. Ariel also talked about their sense of community, inclusivity, and commitment to being authentic. If you’d like to know more about Make Love Not Porn, check out their website. It’s a pizza delivery cliché-free zone!

We talked with Ariel from Make Love Not Porn about the site’s mission and some of the perks of helping people make the best videos possible.  For more information or to join for free, check out their website.